How to Make Life-Altering Decisions Without Regret
What would happen if you finally trusted yourself to take the leap? In this episode, Courtney dives into an empowering conversation with Mark Holden, a leader who knows firsthand what it means to make bold, life-changing choices. From stepping into the unknown to conquering self-doubt, Mark shares his journey of pushing past fear and embracing the power of decisive action.
Together, they dive into what it takes to break free from hesitation and step into confidence. Whether it’s navigating career pivots or making personal breakthroughs, this conversation is packed with real talk and actionable insights for those ready to bet on themselves.
If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt or felt stuck in a cycle of second-guessing, this episode is your sign to make that bold move. Tune in now and take the first step toward your next fearless decision.
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
The #1 fear that holds most people back from making bold moves
How Mark overcame self-doubt and made a game-changing decision
The secret to trusting yourself, even when the future is uncertain
Why overthinking can be the biggest obstacle to success
How to reframe fear into fuel for growth
The power of making a decision and fully committing to it
Lessons learned from taking risks and stepping into the unknown
Mark’s best advice for anyone struggling to take the first step
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
“Your next level of success starts with one bold move.” - Courtney Turich
“The only thing standing between you and your breakthrough is the decision to start.” - Courtney Turich
“Overthinking kills more dreams than failure ever will.” - Courtney Turich
“You don’t need to have it all figured out—just take the first step.” - Mark Holden
“Confidence isn’t about knowing everything, it’s about trusting yourself enough to begin.” - Mark Holden
About Mark Holden
Mark Holden is a Wealth Management Advisor at Vestor Capital, specializing in personalized financial planning for entrepreneurs, business owners, and high-net-worth families. With 14 years in financial services, he previously worked at TD Ameritrade, where he was a frequent contributor to the TD Ameritrade Network and an educator for portfolio management on thinkorswim. He holds a BFA from Auburn University, an MBA from DePaul University, and certifications as a CFP® and Certified Wealth Strategist®. Outside of work, Mark volunteers with Heroes and Horses, mentors young professionals, and enjoys sports, cooking, music, and adventures with his wife and daughters.
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A Team Dklutr Production
BLOG TRANSCRIPT
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Courtney Turich: Hey friends, in today's episode, we're chatting with Mark Holden, who's made bold moves and confident choices to build something incredible. We'll dive into his journey, the key lessons learned, and some surprising insights along the way. So you're probably wondering, wondering who Mark Holden is. Well, Mark is a wealth management advisor with nearly two decades of experience in financial services.
From his early days in the derivative trading to being a go to expert on the TD Ameritrade Network. He's a dedicated, he's dedicated to making complex financial topics clear and accessible. But what truly sets Mark apart is his passion for helping others unlock their best selves, earning him the title of the Lemonade Maker.
With an MBA, CFP, and CWS designations, he's also a volunteer with the Veteran and Youth Development Organizations. Mark leads with trust, discretion, and a simple goal to help people win at life. Based in Chicago with his wife and two daughters, he's here to inspire you to your potential. Mark, oh my gosh, I am so elated to have you here at Bold Moves Confident Choices.
Thank you.
Mark Holden: Courtney, this is amazing. I was genuinely looking forward to this conversation.
Courtney Turich: So everyone, Mark and I just met like a week or two ago and there was just this instant connection of what Mark brings to this world. Like there was just this weight lifted off my shoulders when we had this conversation.
I left in a good mood, good spirits, and he's a financial advisor, which most of us put up a barrier against. But he makes a conversation easy, breezy, and just he brings the human side to anything financial in my perspective. So Mark, I'm going to stop talking right here. And how about you just share a little bit more about Mark before we dive into some of these big questions.
The Power of Human Connection
Mark Holden: First of all, I love that you're talking right now. I mean, this is, this is where it's all at, right? If we work in isolation, okay. This is a perfect example immediately right off the bat if you look at a single number in the world of finance It doesn't mean anything that number is only important when you relate it to another number historically speaking or in the future Everything is relationship everything finance is a human construct.
Okay. Let's not forget that we created this idea It's backed on our natural cadence of connection, right? If you just and I felt the same way by the way, courtney when I met you I realized This is someone who's going to be in my life hands down and then we're making this happen and then collaboration in the future.
That's the exciting piece of it. So none of us are in isolation. Everything is related to something else to someone else and how we even see our future selves. There's a relationship right there too. So how do we make sure the right people are around us? Make sure we're having authentic conversations and taking the bold moves like you continually, uh, discuss with your listening audience.
Courtney Turich: Awesome. Well, Mark. Okay. So you're in Chicago. You've been in the financial world. How many years now?
Mark Holden: Uh, about 19.
Courtney Turich: 19. Okay. You just talked about like this, this correlation between numbers. And can you elaborate a little bit more of that about this correlation? So when I say, let's say I say 20, 000, I instantly go to dollars.What does that mean when you start to talk about all this correlation for our life?
How Mindset Shapes Our Financial Reality
Mark Holden: Well, the way our minds naturally gravitate, we need identity, we need categorized data, we need to nicely conform certain things. And that's all well and good until you realize that your education, or at least your experiences, for better or for worse, force you into certain mental models.
When you say 20, 000, that's just Or 20, 000. If you just say 20, 000, you immediately say, what's the unit of measurement behind that? Is it leagues under the sea? You know, is it dollars to buy a new car, a down payment on a property or what have you? It could be anything. But we want to attach a unit so specifically to a dollar amount, and that's great.
But then what relevance does that have to how we envision 20, 000? I work with all manner of socioeconomic background individuals, and 20 grand could be a drop in the bucket. 20 grand could be a lotto for some people, right? So how we perceive that 20 grand is how we came to be. The environment, the family dynamics.
The things that were discussed around us or oppressed upon us. That's going to give us reason to think, what does that 20, 000 mean? Is it a shield? Are we building a moat? Is it a leverage point? Is it a way for us to make ourselves feel better because it never existed in the past? Or is it purely an extension?
You know, like these are the things that we, we have to navigate when it comes to financial planning, wealth management, otherwise, we're just making things up. You could, you could say, look, I have a, a whole series of projections and this is what, you know, you can expect to make and earn and et cetera, et cetera, you know, build into your wealth picture.
Does it mean anything to you? No? Well then there's a different conversation to have entirely. So, so, I love these type of questions because it's almost like a, it's almost like word association. Where does the mind go when it, when it chunks an image or a memory of a concept? And that's usually the projection we discuss, especially in the world of finance.
Courtney Turich: So Mark, I mean, I'm going to be honest with everyone here and including you. I have a really bad relationship with money. And when I met you and I, again, I, when I met you, I really felt like you were almost like this therapist to me when we started to talk about finances, but in a good way, right? And that's what you're sharing with us here is there's many means different to so many people.
And what context are you putting behind? That, that number that you're giving to yourself or you're saying out loud. So when I met Mark, everyone, he really came to me as a person, a personal approach, trying to understand who I am at the core, instead of just trying to put me in a bucket. And I really believe Mark, you do that with your, your customers yourself.
Moving from Scarcity to Abundance
Mark Holden: Thank you. I love this because there is a moral responsibility that we have, especially knowing good technical data, having good experience. Use that as a weapon for good. Use that as a way to lift up everyone around you. Because there's a difference in thinking in a scarcity mindset versus abundance. If I show up giving, Okay.
Then the reciprocity is 10x because you become your own Branding mechanism and people don't forget that you solve a problem for someone. I forget who says this You solve a problem for someone you have a friend for life Right that friend becomes a champion a referral source someone who provides back Especially because we all have our own cycles and there will be moments when I need to tap into other people as well So seeing someone for who they are that's step one And not everyone feels very comfortable with that, by the way.
So there is an awareness. There's a navigation of how much do I pump or push the gas pedal into this to pierce through that avatar, that veil of a projection that most people are putting out there. It's just a matter of degree. How much do I go into that? Because there's discomfort, discomfort equals growing opportunity.
That's the handholding. That's the real responsibility. It's not enough to say, here's advice. Advice means nothing. Here is advice and I will help you walk through the journey to get to the point at which the advice makes the most sense. It may not happen right away. I could say, yes, save more, spend less.
Great. Thank you, Mark. Thanks for your TED talk. Get out of here. Right. But if I follow up and say, how's it going? Oh, wow. That's a new level of being seen that wasn't previously there. That is not transactional. That's relationship based. And then people realize I am human. I am worthy. I can create. These are the things that I've been given.
So it's like if if I can have that capacity to influence someone to lift them out of their shell, how they view themselves in a somewhat of a synchronous way, we all win. That's it. The tide lifts all boats. So I know there's people smarter than me. There's people that are more gifted for sure. But I'm going to play a little bit of a traffic cop here when it comes to data and resources coming at me.
And then channeling them in the right direction so that we can all rally together
Courtney Turich: you know Mark, I have like these light bulbs coming like coming out of my head right now and it's it really isn't anything Um that is abnormal you're treating people as humans as people How we all want to be treated whether you're talking to them about their finances Or you're trying to sell them a car.
For example, everybody just wants to be seen initially and understood as a person. And that's what you're doing. You're bringing the authentic person to the forefront, which while Mark, especially when it comes to finances is absolutely huge.
Mark Holden: Well, culturally speaking, personal finance is just not discussed openly.
And it is what it is, right? And so decades pass until sometimes until people are willing to have conversations openly about their finances. It's almost like, you can sound a little silly. It's like the The one proctologist theory You don't want to you don't want to shop around for an opinion with a proctologist, you know, right typically you see one person Okay, and that's kind of the idea of personal finance.
Like you you don't just tell everyone everything about you Because we're so close to the vest about these concepts. And I mean, I don't know if you're familiar with, uh, Dave Wan. He's another outlier. He talks about these things. He has a TEDx talk out there. And it's, it's, it's magical about tapping into the unmet needs that are underlying financial conversations, right?
So this, the psychology around finance is very real. It's, it's difficult. And much like, uh, therapeutic modalities on many other different, um, categories and dimensions, you need to have a leadership mechanism of we can do this together. I'm not going to just say, here's information because chat GPT is out there and we can all use that, right?
It's not logic. It is the human experience. And if we feel comfortable, as you mentioned earlier, through trust and discretion, if we feel as though we will be protected and lifted, then we'll, we're more willing to go down that process, which is awesome.
Courtney Turich: And you can help us move past that scarcity to more of an abundance mindset.
Mark Holden: Correct. This, this, Oh my God, you had the best. You had, uh, you had Carolyn Shaw on your program and she is a, a, a superpower when it comes to, you know, career and negotiating salaries and benefits and such. There's another mechanism in the world of personal finance that most people don't think about, you know, advocating for themselves, advocating for the benefits they deserve.
That's not that, you know, to, to have someone like Hale pull you down that. That that line is everything. So I enjoy thinking along along the same lines, helping people move through levels of discomfort and then to look back and say, Hey, here's the debrief you want you have successfully moved to a new level that you didn't think you could earlier.
And guess what? You could do it again in the future. And they're like, okay, let's go. Right. So you can unshackle some of these things that people held onto for years, even though they might be, they might be in a, in a large family, they might be in an urban populated center surrounded by humans and still feel completely isolated.
And that's the moral responsibility of the job. In my opinion.
Courtney Turich: Wow, Mark. I mean, I feel like we could just keep digging deeper into this side of the conversation. But reality is, I need to ask you something even bigger right now. About you. Are you ready?
Mark Holden: Very.
Courtney Turich: Okay. Mark, what would you say was that big, bold, confidence move in your life that took things for you personally or professionally to the next level?
The Power of Vulnerability and Letting Go
Mark Holden: So this is, this is one of the most enriching questions and I kept thinking, how can that be a singular event? Is it a singular event? The answer is no. It is a series of events. I really put a lot of brain power into this, Courtney, because I, one, I honor you and I honor your audience, but I realized it was big, the, the, the peer leadership I mentioned earlier was a function of me actually going out to Montana.
I, by the way, I'm not a veteran, but I, I volunteered with this veterans organization called Heroes and Horses, very near and dear to my heart. And being in that environment, I saw the peer led leadership taking place. It isn't go do a thing because you need it. It is. I am walking through these difficult, arduous moments with you.
That's when I started to understand, maybe I'm holding onto things that do not serve me. And I saw it, Courtney. I was able to remove myself as a manager. of a machine and not just an operator inside a machine, and then I could start to see things unnecessary that I was hanging on to. Next step is taking the action.
I started to try to be vulnerable more often through feedback, because in my world, I kept thinking, if I show vulnerability, I'll be dismissed. If I show vulnerability, I won't close the prospective client. You know, that's where I was most afraid of the opposite. was the truth. The more vulnerable I became, the more I attracted people who wanted to grow around me.
And that was this is about 2. 5 years ago when all this was really taking place. And I can tell you with confidence that I have had multiple epiphanies since then. So it's not a singular event to say this happened. Maybe that does for some people. But for me it was Opening up wider and wider to understanding how I can help myself, how I can love to love and how I can help other people.
And that's been a two year, two and a half year journey.
Courtney Turich: Wow, Mark. Okay. So share more about this journey because it's not easy. Anybody, any one of us who has actually taken a deep dive into self reflection and processing. It's an evolution.
Embracing Discomfort and Growth
Mark Holden: It is an evolution. Um, okay. We started the conversation off with.
With relativity, right? Like something is relative to something else. So too is our mental models. So too is how we see ourselves And and look the mind loves to take shortcuts. It loves to to uh, uh crystallize Ideas and information so that we can just simply draw on that in the future Like, you know ready made idea sets, but that is like this this this synchronous activity of the mind If you also kind of groove in bad ideas, too unknowingly And so when you crystallize bad ideas, that still is part of your identity, but we have to crystallize something.
So then how do you, how do you get into someone else or yourself for that matter, look in the mirror and say, shake it up, buddy, shake it up. Maybe that's travel. Maybe that's engaging in professional conversations. Maybe that's, uh, having hard conversations with your spouse, partner, kids, what have you, but in order to change, it will require discomfort.
You can operate humility on a daily basis. I mean, listen, I, this is not a braggadocious thing. I do it because I, I, I don't like it, but I take cold showers only. And I've been doing that for the last two years because it sucks every time. And it shakes me out of my, my synchronous activity. So there's a humbling mechanism involved and then there's, there's a great science behind it too.
But, but the point is I do this because I know it helps me. I don't always want to do it. But it helps me see through my own nonsense. That's like the synchronous activity. So we can shake it up. We can grow away from the things that were no longer serving us. And, and, but, but I, I recognize too, I keep coming back to the same, same ideas.
It's like, no, no, no. Don't be, don't worry about the fear. Courtney, even coming onto this, this conversation, I was afraid because my voice isn't a hundred percent right now. Cause I was recently sick. I was afraid that I wouldn't be the best version of myself for you and your audience. I was like, don't do it anyway, because she deserves it.
Because Courtney is an awesome human being and she needs you right now. So quit, you know, being fussy about this and show up. And I mean, it sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud, but this happens with everyone. Our minds are frail. And so we got to keep pushing through, stay humble, open, curious.
Everything is learning opportunity. There'll be struggles every day. We can keep growing through this, especially with great conversations like you, you maintain.
Courtney Turich: Wow, Mark. Okay. So first I'm going to backpedal and ask about this cold shower. So how long, how many minutes do you stand in a cold shower every day?
Four
Mark Holden: and a half.
Courtney Turich: Oh my goodness. That, if I want to put a new spin on getting ready fast, I just need to incorporate cold showers. Mark. That's impressive.
Mark Holden: I do have short hair, so it obviously helps, right?
Courtney Turich: But I love that you do that to keep challenging yourself. It's not because it's comfortable for you to jump in a cold shower every day.
I know it can't be. You live in Chicago.
Mark Holden: If I keep my head in the water too long, it hurts. So I gotta back up and But, you know Yes. Um, it exists.
Courtney Turich: So then as you're trying, been going through this process over the past 2. 5 years, how do you stay grounded each and every day? You take a cold shower, but what else do you do for your mind and to make sure that you continue this growth mindset and you don't let those fears start coming back in and trying to take you over personally.
Mark Holden: Tell people you're proud of them. Tell people you love them. Tell people you can't wait to find out what they do with the next level of their life. Tell, tell, tell. Get it out of your head and off your chest. Because we are creatures, we are social creatures. You know, you can have people talking about they can take care of themselves and be a, uh, you know, a man of their own island kind of thing.
But it's fumes on the gasoline. It's not the gasoline itself. So it'd be expressive. Tell people out loud, how much you are impressed by the, their actions, because it's, it's not just, it's genuine by the way. It's not just, I want to see you Courtney crush this podcast. It is, I'm so excited and I'm showing up with intention of being genuine.
And guess what? Now I'm going to watch episodes in the future. Because I have created it. I've said it out loud. There is a boomerang effect here too. You have a great day. I have a great day. One plus one equals three in this situation. And this is an abundance mindset piece here too. So, and this is not just fluff.
I promise you, I do this with the people I work with, my clients, my friends, and my kids. I have two daughters, 14 and 10. And sometimes I don't want to say it. Cause they make me mad, right? Like they do things in spite of what I say at times. And I say, I'm proud of your independence. It just shut up and just stop talking and stop projecting opinion on them.
I'm proud of your independence. I walk away because I don't always want to say that it's hard to compliment, especially when you're hanging on to your own ego and you want to win, right? As parents, we often want to win against our kids and it's only because they're smaller. It's not fair, but that that doesn't go away.
So to difficult colleagues, difficult clients, patients, whatever compliment them. Well, energy adjusts. So I try to stay humble by doing that as often as I can.
Courtney Turich: What great advice, Mark, right there. Something so simple in reality, but can be so hard for people. And some of us, a simple compliment to lift somebody up else up for moments can really take a huge weight off their shoulders, but also ours more than we know.
Mark Holden: I know for a fact that you have a stacked day today, but you still took the time to engage in a conversation with me. And that means everything because I was looking forward to it. And now I get to look back upon this conversation with glee because you showed up for me today. And that means everything that's, that's the human experience.
You know,
Courtney Turich: Mark, I have to tell you, I already feel lifted and we haven't even been talking that long, but you've already helped me shift my mindset for the day. And for that, I am super grateful. So you know, before we jump into some, a different direction, I do want to ask, once you started the self discovery for yourself two and a half years ago, what did it do for your business?
Mark? Like what has it done for you?
The Impact of Self-Awareness and Action
Mark Holden: It helped me realize. That there were existing sets of ideas in my mind, existing sets of expectations, existing sets of social circles that did not serve me. Wow. And that it is big, it is big. And the dual need is take action. It's like awareness is huge, but it's only 50 percent you got to take action.
And those combined have evolved my entire life, all of my business. I work with people I love. Now I work with good friends now because I'm trying to see them win in their world, go to the next level or just maintain like the particular. you know, station in life that they're at. But it's, I, you know, if I get a text from a client now, I know this is awesome.
You know, they're ready to do a thing and they're trusting me that it can be done all day, all day. So it is, it is being part of value add, knowing that I am the genesis of the value add. They see it. I feel it. And we all we all win. So awesome question. Yeah, it's awareness of problems and then taking action to let go and keep moving up.
That's, that's the greatest of all evolutions.
Courtney Turich: So important what you mentioned, Mark, is not only self awareness. To be self aware is one thing, but if you don't take action, it means nothing, right? Like that is equally important to the self awareness.
Mark Holden: Yeah, it's, it's, it's hard, it's hard to take action,
Courtney Turich: but it also can alleviate once you take action, it can actually alleviate a lot of the stress on yourself and it can start to open up, not can, it will start to open up more doors when you combine the two,
Mark Holden: a hundred percent, it doesn't have to be necessarily just, just personal or just business.
There is an overlap, a consistent overlap. There's a gentleman, Dr. Jeff Spencer, who is a former, not a former, he's an Olympian from the 74 Olympics, but he also has coached many Olympians to gold. And I met him at the first outlier retreat, mind you, in Rhode Island, and um, you know, I asked him, I was like, how do you blend Work life balance.
Like I don't understand how this works. And he said, do them both. Well,
Courtney Turich: yeah,
Mark Holden: they're not separate. They're your life. You're personal. I couldn't agree more. We're all really the same thing. So uniquely. I make to do lists in the mornings that are of my life, not just the business side or not just the personal.
It's like all the things I got to do start to finish. Okay.
Courtney Turich: Simple approach. Again, another simple approach. So Mark, I mean, You know, you've had this great life experience and this unbelievable heart and energy that just exudes from you. So, anyone who's listening to this, you must reach out to Mark because I will tell you, he will be a light in your life.
Mark, when you look back at your younger self, what would you say to the 18 year old Mark today?
Mark Holden: Uh,
first of all, I'd give him a big hug.
And then I would tell him, listen to how your body reacts in times of stress. Those are the moments you learn the most.
I think that'd be it.
Courtney Turich: Powerful, Mark. And the thought of, when you say this to yourself, I'm envisioning, envisioning even doing it for myself. And the fact to just give ourselves a hug. That's incredible. And I could really sense you feeling this as well as you're sharing this with us today.
Mark Holden: Yeah. Uh, 18 year old Mark was a good kid.
He just needed a little bit of a little bit of love.
Courtney Turich: Well, Mark, you have given us so many insights today as we walk away from our conversation. What would you like to leave everyone with today?
Mark Holden: Well, listen, um, as Mr. Rogers said, find the helpers. There are tons of people out there. Willing to listen and grow with you. Do not be afraid. Take action. It is not enough to be aware. Awareness by itself is meaningless. Take action. Take action in posting. Take action in doing something beyond what you normally think you can do.
Because action will orient. Action will pull people into your life that you didn't know existed. And then from there, you have new awareness and new opportunity for action. It is a self fulfilling prophecy when you start to take those actions. So please do that in spades.
Courtney Turich: Oh my gosh, Mark. You just brought that into a nice, beautiful bow for all of us today.
And if anyone here wants to reach out to Mark Holden, where would they find you?
Mark Holden: You can find me on LinkedIn, Mark Holden, CFP, CWS. Uh, you can go to vestorcapital. com and find me, um, but I'll, I'll always respond whatever you guys need.
Courtney Turich: Mark, you do not disappoint and I am so grateful you came into my life.
Everyone, he is part of the outlier project community and this is where I got the opportunity to meet Mark. You brought forward to make sure that we don't have a scarcity mindset. To live in abundance, Mark, to make sure we're self aware, but also to take action when we get to that point in our life. And we are constantly.
And evolution and changing each and every day. Mark, I can't thank you enough for being here and for everyone tuning in today. I want you to go be bold, be confident and be you. Thanks.
